Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I understand Curling. That high.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
