I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
