so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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