i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Randomize
