You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
