well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
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