The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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