Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
