I'd wear matching sweaters with you
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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