Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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