I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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