ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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