if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
