I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
