Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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