Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
