Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
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