They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
