This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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