Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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