Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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