Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
