so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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