i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
