Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
