there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
