We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Houston, we have a blender
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
