uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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