the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
