the day after is always just damage control
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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