I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Randomize
