i wish there were pregnant emoticons
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
