Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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