That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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