Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
