i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
