It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
