i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
