I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
