summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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