Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
