Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
