like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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