Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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