Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
