I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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