who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Two words: blizzard sex
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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