So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
