If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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