He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
