I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
