Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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