We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
